I remember being in New York City about 6 years ago and in the back of a cab on my way to a writing session. There were interviews playing on the tv screens in the car and one really caught my ear. A local NY artist was saying what her one regret was. She said at 60 years old, she wished that she spent less time chasing a career and more time focusing on relationships. Not just romantically but also friendships. That moment has replayed in my head so many times.
March 6, 2018
Having spent most of my adult life traveling away from home, chasing a career, I’ve started to realize what’s important in life and you’ll be shocked to know… It’s not the career.
Over the last several years I’ve started to change my way of thinking. I realized that I was at everyone’s disposal but my own. I cared more what people thought of me and wanted from me than my own happiness. We live in a selfish society but I think that most often we aren’t selfish about the right things. Sometimes it’s important to put yourself first and in turn, you end up putting the people that actually matter most first as well.
Last year something monumental happened for me. I did what I felt was right despite criticism. I rescheduled my tour, and at the worst possible time if I’m honest, to go back home and help my family. In years past I would have not even questioned it. My career had to be first. What people expected of me had to come first. Because of this decision it’s possible I’ve lost fans, ticket sales, album sales and even friends. But do I regret it? Not one bit. At the end of the day, the actual end of it all, I’m not going to think of those album sales or gigs missed, I’m going to think of the moments with my family. The moments we pulled together and helped my mom and dad during one of the most difficult times. I’m going to think of those several extra months I got to spend with my puppy before he passed away. I’m going to think of the wedding i actually had time to plan! All of the good things that came out of a terribly difficult decision.
Now, in 2018, I’m continuing with that mindset. I am still pursuing my career (I can’t imagine not doing music for the rest of my life) but it’s not first anymore. Some women would disagree and tell me that’s not what I should do and my career will suffer. Then so be it. My husband will be first. My family will come first. Career will have to just deal with being second or third. Life is all about balance. If you don’t have that, something will suffer and that’s usually yourself.
Do you struggle with this? Balancing it all? Think about your life 20, 30, 40 years down the line. What do you think will be the moments that put a smile on your face. Now start to prioritize those things. Sometimes it can be as simple as restructuring. Don’t work too much, spend time with friends and family. The things that make you laugh and create wonderful memories.